1) Swimsuit model-okay, stop laughing. It had to be said, and I figured, why not just start out with it? It would be nice if I could say that there was ever a time in my life when I was "thin" enought be a swimsuit model. But it's good to dream, right? I think that if there was a way to get the outdoors air-conditioned, I'd seriously go on a diet and try the swimsuit thing. In the meantime, I'll just wish I looked like this picture of Claudia. Maybe if I had good Photo-Shop skills, I could add my own face to this woman's body. Do you think anyone would notice?
2) Lipstick/Nail Polish Color Namer- Once upon a time, I went to the nail salon every two weeks. I was a nail junkie. Then I had a child and had to spend money on trivial things like food and diapers. Nowadays, I've kicked the nail habit and enjoy a manicure every 6 or 7 months. Not because I don't want to go more frequently but the above mentioned child still likes to eat. At the height of my manicure-days, I always enjoyed reading the interesting names of the nail polishes. They always sound like someone named them after having too much beer and bad pizza. (Side note-I don't like bad pizza and I don't drink beer--ever.) I've worn such colors as Prune Danish (ewwww, not a good image for a lipstick), Vixen (I'd have to admit I thought that was a good lipstick name), Drumbeat Red (come on...can't we just call this red?), Mystic Moonshine (very pretty-basically purple glitter), Bogotta Blackberry, Music Hall Curtain Call (what color image does this evoke? The title gives no hint), Brisbane Bronze...the list goes on. I know my colors well, and I think I'd be good at this.
3) Samantha Brown's job on the show "Great American Hotels" on the Travel Channel. There may be a whole lot of horrible stuff that this woman goes through while making her shows, but if it does happen, it never makes it to the show. This woman basically goes to five star hotels in America (and across the world), eats in wonderful restaurants, and sees the sights and gets paid to do it. On a side note, her show is pretty witty. If you're ever bored, check this show out. I think I could handle having to spend the night in a large, luxury room that someone else pays for. I wonder if she needs a sidekick? I could be the straight-man to her comedy.
4) Cheese Maker- There is no cheese that I've met that I didn't enjoy. I like it in cubes, spread on crackers, grated, melted, you name it, I like it. I don't know any cheese makers, but I have seen an episode of "Dirty Jobs" where the host makes cheese. It doesn't look easy, and it certainly looks messy, but I'd give this try if I could. Perhaps sometime I could get some goats or cows or something and experiment.
5) Ride worker at the Haunted Mansion at the Magic Kingdom Disney World- Disney World is my favorite place in the world. The workers there go through extensive training on how to smile and be pleasant, even if the guests are rude, hot, and cranky. Here's what I've noticed on my trips: The workers at the Haunted Mansion ride never smile. They have to look somber in order to keep the atmosphere of the ride. So you could have a really crummy day, get into a fight with your husband, or something equally painful, and you wouldn't have to pretend to be happy and smile. Two added bonuses-discounted tickets to Disney and you get to work in a ride that is always cool and dark. No hot Florida sun baking you to a crisp. I love this ride. The picture you see here is my computer wallpaper. Really.
6) Film/TV critic- If you've read my earlier posts, you'll see that my TV is super important. Since I'm already watching lots of movies and TV shoes anyway, it would make sense that I'd get paid to watch them and then rag on them. I do that now anyway-it would just be nice to get paid to do it.
7) Mystery Shopper-This sounds like fun. A company pays you to go shopping at one of their stores while you check out every detail in the place. Do the employees wear name tags, were the clerks polite, was the place neat and tidy, were the bathrooms nice....Shopping with other people's money is a long-time dream of mine. At press time, no one has offered to let me shop for myself with their money. I keep hope this will happen to me someday.
8) Queen of France-Who wouldn't like to be queen? You get to wear really nice crowns, people bow to you, and people fear you. As I type this, it seems that my current job also holds these same characteristics. AM I the queen of France and no one has told me?
9) Food Critic-I love to eat, especially when someone else cooks it and cleans up after me. I think this one job that I would do really well with.
10) American Idol-Okay, so I can't sing as well as those people on the show, but I'd still like to try. I think that it would be great to be on TV, sing your heart out, and then listen the the judges hack on you and tell you how bad you are. Nothing like an ego boost.
So, I'm tired now. I should have already gone to bed. Tomorrow is a busy day. I've got lots of school work to do because for the moment, it defines how I spend my days. I'm still waiting for Ryan Seacrest to introduce me to America on national TV. Maybe they haven't contacted me because they are intimidated over my latest swimsuit photo shoot and how great I look. Who knows?