The Total Unjustness Of Sweatpants

Okay, it's cold outside. Most people wear pants, jeans.....me....I prefer to bum around in sweatpants. First, they are comfy. I never realized how important comfort was until I "grew up" and had to work for a living. Also, elastic can be your friend. I know some of you don't agree with me, but as a person whose weight fluctuates, I appreciate it when at least something fits. But I digress.


Even though I enjoy wearing sweatpants, I get a little unhappy when I think about all the sweatpant injustice out there.


Okay, first gripe:
I carry a cell phone like most people do nowadays. I'm not the kind of person that feels good leaving my phone on my desk at work (people have sticky fingers....I have a teacher friend that had a 9 year-old student steal her cell phone and then throw it in the toilet at school!) and I don't always hear my phone go off in my purse. (I'm hearing impaired.) I like to carry my cell phone in my pocket. Most of the time, I'm wearing pants or jeans to work and there's no problem. On the weekends, when I'm out and about wearing my sweatpants, I can't put my phone in my pocket because most women's sweatpants don't have pockets!


Did you know that men's sweatpants have pockets? Perhaps this is because most men don't carry around a purse and they need a place for their wallet. I have a place for my wallet too....my purse...what I need is a place for my cell phone! Tell me that's not unfair! Why can't women's sweatpants have pockets? If you don't need, don't use 'em! If you need them, there they are!!!


Second gripe:
Color. Women's sweatpants come in the most awful colors. I mean, I like bright colors.....just not in my sweat pants! I prefer a nice neutral color that I could wear with my brightly colored shirts!! It's really hard to match to sweatpants in sage green, light pink, magenta, or baby blue. Come on people! What's wrong with black? Navy blue? Gray? Why must we dress ourselves like Easter eggs on our legs?


You know what I'm going to say, right? Men's sweatpants come in a variety of neutral colors. And they have pockets. I'm sure this is because most men would find it less manly to wear sweatpants in sage green, light pink, magenta, or baby blue. Someone smart figured out that the neutral colors were the way to go.


Third gripe:
Cost. As I'm sure you've guessed, women's sweatpants cost more than men's. Now why is that? Most of the men's pants are larger and require more fabric. Should they not be more expensive then? Or is it the fact that so much trouble was gone through to secure the rare colors of sage green, light pink, magenta, or baby blue? Sweatpants for men cost less. That's just not right. I figure women's cost more because we'll pay more. Guys will see a pair of sweatpants they want (probably black with pockets) but would flip out if they had to pay more than $7 for them. The ugly women's pants will cost about $12 and that's at the cheap and evil Wal-Mart.


I think I have the solution. From now on, I'll just shop for sweatpants in the men's department. And if anyone asks me what I'm doing, I'll tell them my husband is looking for some nice neutral colored sweats with pockets. So he can carry his cell phone. Ahhhh.....the injustice of living a lie!