So I had one of those days. Not a bad one. I thought it would be an ordinary Saturday, but I was so wrong. As always, some background information is in order so this will make some sense.
This past week, the stresses of my life seemed to converge on me like a freight train. For those of you that know me, you know that I'm passionate. Passionate about everything....crayons, books, the flavor of Crystal Light I drink...you get the picture. How I felt this past week was very foreign for me....almost a wistful yearning and unfilled hopelessness all rolled into one. Looking back, I can't say what brought it on, but I know how feeling those emotions stopped me in my tracks. It stopped me from living.
So this past Saturday, David and Raelynn went to Jackson to help David's dad sell his firewood and then go to the fair. I didn't go because I had a ton of work waiting for me.....grades to enter, lessons to plan, messes to clean up, papers to grade...are you getting a clear mental picture yet? A day of work...not my way to spend a beautiful Saturday.
So I did some things I've been putting off. I got up early and saw David and Raelynn off. I changed into my workout clothes and went for a lovely walk. It was so beautiful outside. The weather here has changed from oppressively hot to mild and fall-like. And we all know fall is my favorite season....I listened to my Faith Hill CD and walked around my neighborhood. I returned home and took a shower, cooled off, and reviewed our new math textbook and its supporting materials. I took my time. I didn't talk on the phone. I didn't watch TV.
After some reflective time, I went to school. On a side note here, when I started teaching, I went to school every weekend to get caught up and to plan ahead....basically keep my head above the water. As time has passed, I've learned how to do some of that during the day and I've not gone to school on the weekends. Not this year. Lots of changes...lots of things I'm trying to do. I've been to school every weekend since school started. Even that isn't enough time. I think next I may have to camp out and spend the night. I worked really hard entering grades in the computer and then doing some intensive Internet research on my upcoming election unit. No one else was there....no one came by to interrupt me or just to chat. The silence of the day was rich beyond words.
After a few hours, I left school and went to the movies. Wow. I don't even know what to say. I went to see Fireproof. I'd heard lots about this movie and wasn't able to see it last week. I was supposed to see it with a friend but wasn't able to. Now I know why. This was something I needed to experience on my own. With my own thoughts. This movie was so amazing that I don't think I could begin to tell you how it effected me. It's been several days and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I suggest that if you are married, you take your spouse to go see this movie. I'm hoping that I'll get to see it again this week, but this time with David. It really made me think...analyze my relationship with David and analyze my relationship with Jesus. I've neglected both.
David came home later and I was glad to see him. The time alone was very restorative to my soul. I didn't realize how much I needed it. It's like an empty well was now full of sweet and thirst-quenching water that I wanted to share.
We went to church the next day and I really enjoyed the service. The music was great, the sermon was great, the ministering was great. I can say that I felt the presence of God and was so touched and emotionally healed. The wonderful calmness carried over to Monday.
I got up, not tired, but for once, looking forward to the upcoming week. I'd done a lot of inner analyzing about my basic nature. I was determined to have a great day and I did. I really thought about what I was saying and how my words, and this is true for all us, can either speak life or death to each person I come in contact with. I want people to leave me with light instead of darkness.
I came home from work, and took another walk. I really thought about things while I was walking and waved at everyone I encountered. In the south, you can do that. You can wave to people and no one thinks that's weird. I would never do that if I still lived in Key West. Everything had a renewed sense of wonder for me and I think that for the most part, I've been happy today. I chose to be happy. I have to remember that....how I feel is a direct effect of my choice of how to feel.
And so I pass this to you, my friend. I pray that as you read this, you will experience the peace that I've had today. My God takes care of me and I'm not to worry for anything. The freedom that comes from that sort of thought cannot be described. I encourage you to love with abandon and laugh more than you should. Look at things....really look. Find the wonder in the things around you....The miracles are there, if you take time to see them. After all, we are all miracles, speaking life or death to those around us. I hope that this post has spoken life to you.