Ahhhh....mint. Tis the season for candy canes. I like candy canes. The traditional ones. These new fangled candy canes in assorted colors and flavors just do not bode well with me. I'll take the traditional J-shaped red and white peppermint candy cane, thank you. Given this devout feeling for this holiday staple, you might be surprised to know that I only eat about one candy cane a year. I'll have my obligatory cane, and then that will be that. I don't need to have anymore to make me get into the Christmas spirit. I have a jingle bells on my shoes, people. In case you haven't noticed, I'm clothed in holiday cheer. In my book, this is the only time peppermint should make an appearance outside of gum, toothpaste, and breath mints. There's a reason why it's the most popular breath freshening flavor. It's just too nasty to eat, otherwise.
Some of you out there are cheering with me and are glad someone else said it. I've gotten lots of amens on the Frosty issue..of which if you did not know...I detest him. But that was an earlier post. Mint is used in lots of things that I just consider wrong. Like mint chocolate chip. To me, that kind of ice cream tastes like someone just couldn't decide what flavor they wanted so they randomly started putting things together. And no, I do not like York Peppermint Patties. Again, why go and ruin perfectly good chocolate by adding mint? I don't like mint in my ice tea and I've never had a mint julep, but I'm positive I wouldn't like it if I did. Another annoying place I see peppermint is in the ever popular round peppermint candies that they give you each time you go to Sonic. You know the ones...they are basically cylinder shaped candy canes. I can't stand these. If I need a breath freshener, I'll pop in a Tic Tac. It has fewer calories, doesn't leave that nasty sugary aftertaste, and takes less time to consume. Also, if you carry a pack of Tic Tacs in your purse, they won't melt and leave a mess. And they sound so cool when you shake the box. Try shaking a candy cane or a round peppermint. They make no sound at all. That's no fun.
People know that I'm right, yet they keep coming up with new and random peppermint pairings. Hershey Kisses has a version called Candy Cane Kisses. Basically, it's white chocolate with little bits of candy cane mixed in. This isn't the best candy they make by a long run. Another ridiculous pairing is with Oreo cookies. Come on, people! What's the matter with the regular Oreo cookies? Why are you messing with perfection? I just don't understand it. There is a reason that peppermint is seasonal....it's just not good enough to have around all the time.
Another mint that I'm not fond of is wintergreen. Luckily, they haven't tried to pair this with anything food related. You'll see this mostly in gum and mints. Where it belongs. A similar issue I have is these toothpastes that are flavored with things like vanilla. But that's a different post for a different time. I just had some wonderful dinner at my mom's and since I don't want to offend...I'm off to get a Tic Tac from my purse. Notice I didn't say a York Peppermint Patty or mint chocolate chip ice cream. They'd just melt and make a big ole mess. Power to the Tic Tac!
It’s us, but in dead animal form. But not really dead because they weren’t ever alive. Undead? No. That makes them sound like vampires. So not that. Fuck. I don’t know the word. Hey, how long can a title be? Because this seems excessive. Someone should stop me. Jesus. This is as bad as 280-character twitter.
2 days ago