Saturday, November 14, 2009

Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler...

Howdy people!

Did you miss me? I know I certainly missed blogging.....Good news....I passed my comps and my last graduate class is almost over. Finally, I'll be able to breathe...and blog.

So I went into work today. Doesn't sound unusual, right? Today is SATURDAY!!!!! Did I mention that I don't get paid for Saturdays? Even so....I can't work Monday through Friday if my classroom is such a mess. You'd think that I'd spend some time daily to clean, but believe it or not, I don't have time. When the kids are here, I'm all about them. Their learning, their issues, their problems, their get the picture. So I'm here on a beautiful Saturday and cleaning up. As I'm doing so, I've reorganized my staplers. Yes, that's right...I said staplers, as in I have more than one. There is a reason for this.

Let me 'splain......

See, to teachers, there are several office supplies that one can't do without. Tape dispenser, glue, paperclips (I prefer the silver jumbo size but that's a different post for a different day), White Out, Sharpie markers, rubber get the picture, right? Of all of these supplies, I am the most protective of my staplers. Looking at my desk right now, I see that I have 6 staplers on or near my desk. Each has it's own purpose and it's own place. I have this lovely purple basket that I keep them lined up cute. must be wondering about my loyalty to staplers, so I thought I'd do a lineup for you so you can see just a little that goes on in my head.

I would be terribly remiss if I didn't start off by giving major homage to Milton, from the movie Office Space. Here is a guy who spends his time mumbling and basically creeping everyone out but his best line in the movie is , "Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler." It doesn't sound so great at first, but imagine a psychopath mumbling that all day. Classic. Watch this movie if you get a chance. I think the missing stapler was the straw that broke his back....I won't spoil it for you, but Milton gets back at the company for taking his beloved stapler. And the truth is....I can see his logic. Once you've had a great stapler, you can't go back.

I'll start with the stapler that I like the least. I have a Stanley Bostitch stapler in my basket that I got from some school supply catalog. It doesn't work so well. That's why this is the stapler that I let the kids use. I love my students but if something has the capacity to break, they will find a way to make that happen. Frankly, I consider this stapler disposable. I will lose no sleep if I have to throw it out.Next would be the reliable Swingline. I have two of these. They are very hearty. One of them I got from a school supply catalog and the other was given to me by one of my favorite people, Kathy S. She and her husband own Copy Cow here in town and hooked me up with some sweet school supplies last year. I use these staplers when I want to put together 3 or 4 sheets. These are also the staplers I use when putting up my bulletin boards. They open really well. They rarely jam and I don't let the kids use them.

Next on my list is the ergonomically correct Bostitch upright stapler. This one feels good in your hand when using it. I'm guessing that's why it's ergonomically correct. This one I bought from K-Mart when I lived in Key West. It's been around a few years and is still trusty. In its old age, it does stick every once in awhile but all in all, it's a good stapler. This is the one that most grown-ups reach for when using a stapler in my room-kids aren't allowed to use it.Next on my list is the Paper Pro. This thing is amazing. It will staple like 20 sheets with just one finger and with very little pressure. It's a great medium weight stapler. I find that I don't use it much anymore because I'm either stapling 2 sheets of paper together or it's 60 sheets. I bought this stapler myself at Wal-Mart several years ago and used it mostly to staple students' weekly graded papers. It didn't work so well at times because I had more than 20 sheets to staple. One other drawback to this stapler is that it doesn't work so well on 2 sheets of paper. It staples with such force that often, it will lose the top sheet because the staple hole it made is big. It basically staples through the paper. I hate when the kids sneak this one off my desk because not long after they've stapled their 2 sheets together, I'm not finding the top sheet. But I still wouldn't give it up.

This is my all time favorite stapler. This is the one that if I lost it or it was broken, I'm positive that I would shed tears over it. This is the One Touch from Staples and it cost me something like $40. I didn't want to pay that much at the time, but I've not regretted getting it. This is the Mack Daddy of all my staplers. This one is advertised as being able to staple 60 sheets with one finger and minimal pressure. I'm here to tell you that it can staple more than 60 sheets. The only time I use this stapler is when I'm putting together the weekly graded papers for my students. It's so special that I don't have it in the basket on my desk. It sits in its own place on the shelf behind my desk. This is to insure that no one randomly reaches on my desk and helps themselves. I wouldn't want to be the kid that picks this stapler up from its place. There's no telling how I would react. It's truly a thing to behold.

Well, that's about it. I think I have about 5 more staplers than the average teacher. But now that I think about it.....when have I EVER been average? Answer....never.....that's why I have 6 staplers and if one of them is missing, I'll be walking around the building saying, "Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler."


b said...

Totally with you on the staplers--I went so far as to write on mine with my handy-dandy sharpie "Stolen from Birdie Mae" so if it shows up in another teacher's room, the kids will know their teacher is a thief who has purloined something from dear Ms Mae. Maybe you work with people with more moral fiber than I do.

Crystal said...

Glad to hear that you're done with comps. Congratulations! Just think how much easier the rest of the school year will be! I'm with you on the staplers too, I thought I was bad with having 3, and like your other commenter, I wrote my name on mine too.

keithb said...

You can never have enough staplers, unless of course you run out of staples.