An Abundance of Rain- In More Ways Than One

CAUTION: This post may not be cheery. Those of you that love me will read it anyway. For those of you that are cruising the Internet looking for something to put a smile on your face, well, this probably won't. Anyway, read it if you want.....just don't say you weren't warned.

So.....It's been raining EVERY DAY here for like three weeks. On a good day, we'll get a sprinkle but for the most part we've had storms where the bottom falls out and it goes on and on and on. The ground is really saturated right now and all the rain just means that there are standing pools of water everywhere. Extra water means mosquitoes. The other day I was in the barn with David talking and was watching it rain (of course) and as I looked at the overhang of the roof, I literally saw a huge swarm of mosquitoes. They were thick all down the length of the barn. I think I got 3 or 4 bites in the short time I was there. I don't like mosquitoes. I don't mind the rain, as long as I don't lose electricity or phone and cable service. Interestingly, I think the rain makes me want to go out and do something instead of staying home. Now, don't get me wrong, I like to stay home....I don't need a storm to motivate me to do that. I'm good laying on the couch for hours at a time. But after awhile, you just get TIRED of the rain. I'm not really wanting it to return to being sunny, I'm actually ready for some cooler weather. You see, us larger ladies need it cooler so we don't get so hot doing normal stuff like breathing. I know, I sound bitter.

I hate when I get to feeling this way. I don't really want to call anyone and complain about it....no one wants to hear me go on and on when they've got their own stuff to deal with. Mostly, I just want to eat and sit on my couch and watch TV. Not very productive, but it can be very cathartic for the soul. When I get to feeling this way, I tend to spiral downhill quickly. It's very easy to wallow in self-pity instead of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and finding the good in it all. Not that you need any thing to make you feel worse than you do, but here are some of the darker thoughts that keep me up at night lately. Any suggestions or solutions are always appreciated.

1) I'm fat. I am ready for cooler weather but not ready to go to work in my underwear. What that means is that my district has adopted a new dress code and I can only wear jeans on Friday. I have several pairs of Capri pants that have gotten me through the first couple of months of school, but when it cools off some, I won't have any pants that fit. I hate buying clothes for a stupid reason like that. If everything fit and I had nothing I liked to wear, that would be a problem I could feel good about. Basically, I see my weight issue as a mountain that I don't think I can climb. The equation for losing weight is simple.....burn more calories that you ingest. (This isn't original...it's the gospel according to Jillian on The Biggest Loser.) It's sad that I know this and still am fat. You see....I love to eat and hate to exercise. I don't like sweating. I don't like getting hot. And food, all kinds, tastes so good. It's almost like eating has become my therapy and hobby. It's a cycle I need to break and it should have been done long ago.

2) I'm old. I'm thinking that the alternative to getting old would be that I'd already be dead. I AM thankful that hasn't happened yet. When I look at myself in the mirror, I see signs of aging that I didn't notice before. I look around in this town filled with college students and I feel like I should be walking with a cane or something. There's really nothing I can do about this issue, but it dovetails nicely into number three.

3) I don't take care of myself like I should. I don't mean anything really harmful or anything....just the superficial stuff life using lotion daily so my skin won't get all ashy and dry. Plucking my eyebrows more often than once a month....exfoliating my feet so they don't get dry and cracked, have an extensive cleansing and moisturizing routine for my face..... Whiten my teeth...go to sleep at a decent hour....stop drinking coffee and diet sodas....eat healthier.....weigh myself more often....write down what I eat..... I think you get the picture.

4) My job is becoming more and more stressful. For a long time, I thought that basically this was just all in my head. I tend to over think things and take everything way more personally than I should. I tend to feel guilty about everything and blame myself for things that go wrong. You know the drill....it's so much easier to beat yourself up than to beat someone else up. I'm the kind of person that tends to blame myself instead of finding blame in others. It's a very self-destructive way of thinking. But back to the job.....the details aren't really that important, but I now feel that it literally is becoming more and more stressful and demanding even without my already stressful nature. I literally feel like I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I don't see it getting any better any time soon. Things in education tend to run in cycles and this is one loop that hasn't made it all the way around yet. I just hope and pray that I'll have enough steam to keep going.

5) My daughter is growing up and isn't a baby anymore. I'm sitting here typing and she's sitting on the couch, reading out loud. I think back to the days of when she was a little baby and I just held her in my arms and imagined her future life. Those days are so fleeting....I really enjoy her at this age like I have at all her stages....but lately she seems to have grown more than she should. It feels like she's going to be leaving home for college soon. Luckily, we live in a college town so when this time comes, I'll have her close by. At least that's the plan.

6) There are many bad habits I need to break. I don't clean my house NEARLY as much as I should. I was telling a friend the other day that there are dishes piled in my sink and dryer sheets all over the house. I like neat and organized things. In the summer when I don't have work to go to, I actually enjoy doing the cleaning around here. Right now, just the thought of it makes me tired. And if you've read any of my last 50 status updates on Facebook recently, you know that I'm tired. I don't put things back where they belong and then get frustrated with myself when I can't find something. That makes no sense at all. Why can't I just put things back where I got them from? (This of course is assuming that I had it in the correct place to start with.) There are other habits not worth mentioning but they all pretty much stem from my cluttered way of doing things. I just don't think I have the energy to be uptight about cleaning....I don't have enough energy to spare.

7) Graduate school is slowly killing me. I am currently enrolled in my last course before I graduate in December. In the next week or so, I'll receive my questions to my comprehensive finals.....all the while, preparing for a midterm in a class that has SOMETHING due every single time we meet. The class isn't interesting and the professor doesn't really do a good job. I see October as being the perfect storm. Comps...midterm (all essay questions, no books or notes)...and the daily stresses of my day job are pulling me in more ways than I can express. I feel like that doll, Stretch Armstrong.

As I read back over this, it sounds real depressing. Please know that there are things in my life that I am so grateful for....my God, my husband, my child, my parents, my friends, and the fact that I'm employed and have a roof over my head. I am loved my many. Every once in awhile, you need to see that you're doing a good job...that you're doing everything you can...and that it's going to all be okay....that people appreciate everything you do...that the work you do is important.....

This is where I am....looking for reassurance that I'm loved and that it's all going to be okay. Thanks for taking the time to read this....even though I can't see you....it does mean a lot to me.

I is tired....and I work too hard.

So it's been awhile......It seems like this school year has been off to a busy start. I'm hoping that sometime soon I'll be able to come up for air. There seems to be much to do and little time in which to do it. As a result, I stay tired. It's a horrible feeling when you just always want to take a nap. There's just no way I can get all the sleep I need without it cutting into the million or so things that need to be done.

So what's been going on, you may ask. The answer: lots. Nothing Earth shattering, just the ordinary things that fill up my days.

*School: This takes up 90% of my time. The amount of papers I bring home to grade never seems to get any smaller. It's like a continual snowball rolling down the mountain side. Sooner or later, you'll get run over by it if you can't stay ahead of it. I'm just a hair ahead of it and can feel it closing in on me. The other things I have to do at home related to school is to call parents, plan lessons, and do research on the computer for upcoming units. While at school, the amount that I'm being asked to do increases each year. I'm not given any more time or money to do these things.....I'm just supposed to make miracles happen. We currently have 7 computer programs to manage....6 of them are to help the kids and the other is a program I have update frequently that parents can access at home. This program allows parents to see that day's lessons, view daily homework, and see their child's grades. This is in addition to the lesson plans and grades that I have to keep record of on paper. This is double work for me since I already send home students' graded work each week and students graph their results for easy averaging. My newsletter also includes the week's content that we'll be learning. While at school, I'm finding it hard to get all my teaching in. My schedule this year isn't so great. After all the moving around and pull out classes, I have my student for about 3 hours a day. During that time, I'm supposed to teach math for 75 minutes a day, reading for 60 minutes a day, 45 minutes on language and writing, and 45 minutes on science and social studies. In addition to this, I'm supposed to counsel students with problems, help students learn to get along with people they can't stand, nurse their wounds, and teach character education lessons. I'm supposed to challenge students that are bright, remediate for students that have deficiencies, and keep everyone motivated and interested. All. at. the. same. time. Not an easy job. People that tell me what an easy job teaching is, haven't walked in my shoes.

*Graduate School: I'm currently enrolled in my last college course before I get my master's degree. I'd like to say that I've learned something new, but I haven't. My main motivation is to earn more money. I won't start seeing that money until next school year. The class isn't interesting and I don't know anyone in the class. The professor doesn't seem to know what she's doing, but gives off the haughty air that she does. Every single class I have something to turn in....article summaries, a paper, a presentation, or a test. Total bummer. On top of this, the class starts at 3 and I'm not out of school until 3:30. I have to farm out my students to get there on time. There's really no time to clear my head from the stresses of the day before class starts. I just have to stick it out until December.

*Other: that's pretty much everything else that fills up my days. Running errands, washing clothes, cleaning the house, watching TV, spending time with my friends. You know....the little stuff that makes up life. There's lots of that swimming around too. Of course there's always David and Raelynn......and I'm ashamed to say that I don't spend near enough time with them doing anything of consequence. I'm still trying to figure out if that's because of what's going on in my life or if that's just who I am. David is wonderful....a great father, great husband, and all around good guy. He puts up with me, so I can't complain. And Raelynn....well, she doesn't have a choice. Thankfully, she thinks I'm great.

Even though I'm stressed, I'm not unhappy. There are things that I don't like about my job, grad school and the other details of life that bother me, but all in all, I'm pretty blessed. I'm not sure how to get everything in and make everyone happy in the meantime.

Anywho....kind of a dull and depressing post. Sorry about that. I'm hoping that soon I'll get some sleep and I'll be able to return to my usual self. I'm not sure who's currently here, but she yawns a lot and can get kinda cranky.

Have a great one.....

Tassie

No, I'm Not Dead, But I Feel Like It's Close.....

Hello blog fans (all two of you!)

Sorry it's been awhile since I posted. This is the beginning of school, so there's always a lot of things that need to be done and finding my niche in the schedule. So far, I've been busier than normal and the niche is nowhere in sight.

So, what have I been up to?

1) School work: This includes grading papers, teaching, calling parents, and doing lesson plans. This takes up 80% of my time. I spend another 10% of my time thinking about school and how I should be doing some school work. On some level, I work 365 days a year. I only get paid for 186.

2) Griping about grocery stores: Have you ever been to the store and randomly found an item that you've never tried and you try it...then only find later that you can't find that item anymore? It's like the item you're looking for was in a mirage. Our town has three grocery stores: the evil Wal-Mart, Kroger, and Piggly Wiggly. For some reason, none of the stores carry all the items that I require and those that I do sometimes disappear. Case in point....at Piggly Wiggly I found Wickles (deliciously wicked pickles) and while shopping I found some crispy, pickled green beans. I went through that jar and when I went back to get some more, there were none to be found. Not even a place on the rack for them. I thought maybe I was at the wrong store, so I went to all of the stores and couldn't find it. When at the second store, I looked for jalapeno stuffed olives, but they had disappeared from that store. At this point, I was starting to feel like an idiot. I'm hoping this problem will heal itself, very much like the healings in the Christian Science religion. I've had this problem before with my favorite scent of Febreeze Plug Ins but it "Christian Science" healed itself and I found it again, so I believe it could happen again.

3) Spending time with my friends: Today I went to my first MSU football game. We played Jackson State University and won 45-7. It rained hard and I got very wet, but I had a good time. My friend Kathy had some extra tickets, so Wendy and I went with her. It was fun. Anytime MSU wins a football game is a good day.

4) Being tired: My last 50 Facebook status updates have included the phrase "I'm tired" in some form. I try going to sleep earlier but I never seem to get caught up.

5) Watching The Hannah Montana movie: I went to see this with Wendy, Kathy, and their kids this summer and thought it was fair. I've since bought the movie on DVD (with the pretense of giving it to Raelynn) and have actually come to like it and really enjoy the songs. Strange, I know. Watch it yourself and see if it doesn't grow on you.

6) Thinking of good blog topics: Sorry that I haven't gone through on this one.....my head has been full of thoughts as you can tell from my post. Have a great day, leave a comment, and go Dawgs!

Happy Friday to Me

Happy Friday all! Fridays are my favorite day of the week. Most people really like Saturdays. I'm fan of those too, but I think that on Friday evenings, you have the fresh hope of the weekend ahead of you. All during the weekend, I end up thinking of all the things I should be doing and dreading the upcoming week. Fridays are usually one of the easier days at work, mostly because I give the kids quizzes on those days, and they stay busy. This year I decided to treat myself because I'm finding that I as I get older (and this is a slow process by the way) that the fabulous treats from others is slowly dying off. So I decided to treat myself.


First treat of the day.....Krystal's Original Breakfast Scrambler. I'm not a paid actor for them, but I have to say that this is one of my favorite breakfast treats. If you haven't tried it, you should. Just don't go on Friday mornings around 6:30 AM. There's usually no line so I can drive right up and get my stuff quickly. The Original Breakfast Scramber is a wonderful cup of buttery grits, covered in scrambled eggs topped with melted cheese, and a sausage patty on top. All of my favorite things in a cup. Totally delicious.


Another treat is my lunch. (Do you notice a trend here?) My school has a potato and salad bar for the teachers each Friday. The potatoes are very good and the salad tastes better than the salads do throughout the week. I think it's because it's Friday. Everything is better on Fridays.


A usual Friday treat is my attire on Fridays. I wear all the glitter makeup....and usually don some type of hat or costume. Also, Friday is t-shirt and blue jeans at work, and I'm totally into that.


There are so many wonderful things about Fridays......what's your favorite day of the week?

Easy Breezy and Oh So Cheesy

If you've ever met an elementary school teacher, you've met an angel on Earth. I'm not sure there is any other profession that requires as much from a person and expect her/him to do many different things at the same time flawlessly. It's one thing to mess up a bunch of paperwork, but something completely different to mess up someone's kid. There are many areas of greatness that I could go on and on about in the life of an elementary teacher, but today I will focus on just one element. The dreaded bulletin board display.


Now don't get me wrong.....I like how bulletin boards brighten up the hallways at school. Most professional places lack this sort of creativity. There are two parts of bulletin boards that I don't like. The first is thinking of a decent display to do and the accompanying corny title. The other is just the sheer time it takes to put the thing up. And if you've got even the slightest bit of OCD, you can forget it...because the border won't be right and your letters won't be straight. I think that doing bulletin boards may be part of the OCD'ers intervention and recovery plan. I've been out of bulletin board rehab for quite awhile and am proud of my progress!


The aspect that most pains me is getting the idea for a bulletin board display. I have several books and of course the Internet is really good for stealing ideas too, but I find that most of my boards come from my brain after much worry and debate. I have an idea for one and then start to thinking about a decent title. This is part is my roadblock. You see, I don't think people realize that creating a bulletin board with a cheesy title is a "must have" in elementary school. More often than not, you do some title that has a play on words. What kills me about it is that most kids that young don't get it. It's wasted humor.


For example, a couple of years ago, I did a back to school bulletin board with the title, "We're a GRAPE bunch!" and took purple party plates and wrote the kids names in paint pen on them and arranged them on the board like a bunch of grapes. The kids didn't get it. They did tell me that I spelled the word "great" wrong. For that, I was grateful. At least I got them to thinking. The titles are really hard to come up with for me, so I usually "collaborate" AKA ask the teachers around me what a good title would be. The teacher across the hall from me LOVES to do bulletin boards and really gets into it when I ask her. She is very creative and has come over to help me out many times. She plans her bulletin board displays a year in advance. Obviously she's never heard of the bulletin board 12 step program.


One Christmas I was hanging students' stockings in the room on the backdrop of a butcher paper fireplace. My lovely teacher friend came right over and drew my bricks for me. She has drawn more bulletin board stuff for me than I'd like to admit. I'm not sure where the line is from "collaborator" and "creative genius" but I find it's pretty blurry. Her handwriting is really nice too....that's always a bonus when she's lettering something for me.


As you may not be aware, we've just started back to school. Outside my room I have two bulletin boards and I cover my door and use it as well. The kids did the large board at the end of last year and it looks fabulous. They made a huge sailing ship with mast and pirate flag sailing on an ocean of waves. They made the sun setting in the distance and an island of treasure just on the horizon. I added pictures of the students' faces in the boat and the title says, "We're sailing into fifth grade!" I think most kids get this since the obvious association is with a sailing ship. (Side note...I have some very artistic students. They ate this project up.) The other outside bulletin board is used to chart students' progress in Accelerated Reader. The title for that one is "A.R.e you meeting your goal?" (I stole this title from a teacher friend.) On my door I have a map of the United States that says "Mrs. Rosamond's class is going places!" and the students have little pictures of themselves attached to little cars and they're driving around the door. The border of the door is surrounded in post cards. The saving grace for me here is that a couple of my students' parents came in this summer and put it together for me. I gave them the idea and they went with it. And went they did. It turned out fabulous!


So I've already started worrying about the bulletin board displays for next month. I think that the kids doing the big one in their spare time was great....they really enjoyed it and have asked when they could do another one. (It took lots of planning and measuring to do it right! Ahhh authentic learning!) It does take some time to do so we'll have to plan it accordingly. If you have any "cheesy" ideas for a board....let me know. One can never have enough cheese in their life!

Betty and Veronica

Hello loyal fans....things have been busy in TassieWorld where school has started back up again. The first two days were pretty good....I've tried real hard to find the positive in people and situations. It's harder than being negative, but the payoff is so much better.


So today's post is about Betty and Veronica. You remember them, right? I can remember my excitement in getting each comic book. Back in those days, they were larger, like the size of a magazine. There would be the Double Digest that was smaller and had more stories in them too, but I didn't like them as much. I've read lots of comics from the whole gang in Riverdale. None of them are as interesting as Betty and Veronica. I enjoyed it so much that I played Betty and Veronica with the kids from the neighborhood. Mark was Archie, Kim was Veronica, and I was Betty. I really like Veronica more (and no, it isn't because of her money-I just think that brunettes are prettier) but we all thought that since Kim was African American, she'd make a better Veronica. So I let her have it.


A couple of weeks ago, I was browsing the book and magazine section of the evil Wal-Mart with Raelynn, which is what we do because she loves to read more than I do. Now that I think about it, I loved to read a lot when I was her age too. I think it has to do with the fact that children didn't control the TV shows watched at my house growing up. Raelynn probably has the same problem.


Anyway, I saw a Betty and Veronica comic book and picked it up. Raelynn was very interested in it, probably because it had two fashionable and pretty girls on the front. I perused the issue and decided to buy it for her. (I made sure it was age appropriate.) She read that thing over and over and over. We looked through the issue to find out when the next issue was coming out and it was this past Monday. I went back to find it for her but it wasn't there. She was pretty sad.



But anyway, I'm glad I introduced her to the wonderful word of comics. There are many things I enjoyed as a kid that she's never experienced. I can remember the days of wax candy bottles, candy cigarettes, and orange sherbet push ups. I hope that in this crazy, fast-paced world, she and I can share some of life's simpler pleasures. Those are things we remember. That and the fact that Archie could never decide which girl he liked...all the while I was rooting for Veronica. Oh well, maybe next issue.....

"I Don't Want to Work" is more than just a song title.

Tomorrow is my first day back to work. The kids don't come back until Thursdays. We've been told that there will be no time for working in our rooms, so I'll be getting in early and staying late. So what else is new? There is a small part of me that is looking forward to seeing everyone again but I'd be lying if I said that I wouldn't miss the freedom to do what I want, when I want to do it. The up side to it is that I'll be back into my routine, which is good. Predictable events happening at a predictable time is a good thing. The kids keep things interesting and unpredictable. Teaching is never boring.

This summer has been a good one. I was a part of the Writing/Thinking Project during the month of June. We met each day from 8 to 4. It made for a long day. I met some really great people and got refocused for teaching. That was good.

Before my class and during the month of July, I spent lots of time with my friends Wendy and Kathy. Raelynn and I went swimming several days a week at Wendy's house. Wendy has three kids and they are great. Raelynn really enjoys being with them, even if they're older than she is. I also spent time with Kathy and her kids (she also has three) at Wendy's and at other venues in town. It's great that Wendy and Kathy are friends too....we had great times hanging out! I spent the night at Kathy's lake house a couple of times and all the kids slept on the porch. They had a blast...and to be honest, I did too. We also saw Harry Potter and some other movies...some with the kids and some without. On top of this, I spoke to them daily. We have a really good time together and part of why I'm dreading going back to work is because I won't see them as often. Well, that and the whole work thing.

I am looking forward to a new beginning with my students. I had them last year so I already know them. I love how at the beginning of the school year it feels like anything is possible. There are so many possibilities for growth...both mine and theirs. It usually takes a few weeks to start feeling overwhelmed.

Well.....I still have lots to do before going to work tomorrow. I need to get plenty of sleep so I'll be fresh for my first day back. If I get bored later, I'll just call Kathy or Wendy.